The Dreaded Why Question (An Update on Our House Sale)

As most of you know we put our house on the market about two weeks ago. Many of you have been so kind to follow up with me and ask how it’s been going. To be honest it’s been one of the crazier emotional roller coasters we’ve ever been on. I’ve asked Matt to share an update and a little perspective from us because I wanted to keep you all in the loop.

Matt: 

Two weeks ago this past Friday the house was officially listed. In about 48 hours the house had been shown about fifteen times. We had three offers come in so our agent asked everyone to send in their highest and best offers and we would make a decision. Before we knew it, we were under contract on an offer that exceeded our asking price. We were stunned.

After a private deal unexpectedly fell apart in January, here we were with an offer that was going to have us walking away in much better shape. It felt like the most incredible blessing. However, in just a few short days that deal fell apart too. It was frustrating, but no worries, we had a back-up deal already in place from our original series of offers. We lost a good bit of margin in this second deal, but were still in a good position to sell our house and accomplish our goals. Yesterday that deal hit a breaking point and we are expecting termination papers to be filed later today.

So what’s the deal? The best way to sum it up is that our house is 61 years old. It’s in an incredible location. It has curb appeal. When you get inside and see all that Erica has done with this place it’s easy for buyers to envision it as their future home. When you step out back and see the apartment and office, the potential of that space gets very exciting to people. However there are some old house issues under the surface. A couple that we were aware of and prepared to deal with; a few that have come as a surprise. Every one of the issues are fixable. Yet, the potential buyers have walked or tried to negotiate beyond what is reasonable in getting the deal done.

While we know the house has a lot to offer someone we have been left feeling like it is an unsellable piece of crap.

Of course that’s not true, it’s just the reality of our discouragement. The whole thing is very confusing. As we have shared before, we have sensed peace and clarity about taking these steps. Why would we be prompted to go through these steps just to be put through all of these seemingly cruel ups and downs?

As we have processed I’m coming to a place of feeling like “Why?” is the wrong question. It’s the question we always ask in the midst of adversity, however it’s also question that rarely gets answered. It can leave you with a sense of hopelessness and fill you with fear while you wait for the other shoe to drop. I think “Why?” is actually a trick question used to make us doubt our worth and significance in the bigger picture.

“Why?” really won’t get us anywhere. We can’t control it. What we can control is us and our next steps. Rather than “Why?” we are trying to ask “What’s next?” It’s the difference of sitting numb in our circumstances and choosing to be proactive towards the things we feel called to do. Does life ever play out the way we expect it to? Rarely. Rather than letting speed bumps become road blocks  we are searching for the detour. We are trying to trust that this journey will produce growth for us as a family and be just as crucial in our story as the actual destination.

As far as the house we still have a few options that we are processing through. We are in the process of receiving the inspection report to learn exactly all the things we are dealing with. Once we have a firm grasp on the “issues” we will evaluate our options moving forward. In the meantime we are not letting the detour with the house derail our desire to move towards becoming a foster family. Rather than waiting on the house stuff to settle first we are going to pursue the needed training and education now. We said it before and I’ll say it again, it’s about the little faithful steps forward each day. So while our current plan has hit a moment of pause we’ll work to take steps in other areas.

Thanks for continuing to track along with us. Please forgive us if we fail to answer all the questions and respond quickly. Some of the nature of this process requires us to keep quiet until we have firm answers and are able to share more. But please know this, we so appreciate all the prayers and encouragement.

Erica:

I’m so thankful for Matt and that I am not walking this path alone.

I read his message above and I talk to him and I find perspective and strength.  Left on my own, I would wallow in my hole more.  This is an emotionally exhausting process and at every turn I feel like I’m too tired to process any more but then something else happens…and I find I can do more than I thought.  As Matt has said to me, maybe this emotionally exhausting and “we’re not in control” process is preparing us for the foster care road in which BOTH of those things are an expected norm.  Thank you for caring, for reading, and for being there to help us process!