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Goodbye 2015

December 26, 2015 By Erica Deuel 3 Comments

Pain.

It’s one of those small little words that we all probably wish did not exist. When I think of my 2015, pain is one of the words that I would use to describe it. There are a lot of factors on why that I can’t really share, but I’m sure (more now than ever before) that I’m not alone in some of what I went through.

You might be like me, I often find myself wrestling through why bad things happen to good people. Why are there so many miscarriages? Why do we prepare for and dream of kids, that we never get? Why do we have dreams of paths that aren’t meant for us to go down? Why are we asked to go down paths that leave us raw, tender, broken? Why is there cancer? Why is there hunger? So many questions.

I don’t have real answers on the whys. I know we live in a sinful world. Yet, I also know we have a Savior who hurts with us. One who sees our pains and desires to walk, carry and bring us through these chaotic moments and seasons of our lives.

me and my booFor me personally, we have had a lot of changes in the last few years from two moves, job changes, community changing, being foster care parents, leaving our beloved Georgia, and starting anew with everything in Indiana. It’s been an adventure. One that we excitedly said yes to, every small step along the way. In some smalls ways, I think I felt the pot brewing at the start of this year that I needed to slow down.

I needed some “no more changes” time. My soul was hungrily crying out for rest, quiet. As it turned out, I wasn’t ready for that peace yet. Jesus had some work to do through me and in me. It was a loud year. It broke me. To be just completely honest, I’m not sure you can be “quiet” (my word was for this year) as a foster care parent.

Have you ever looked in the mirror and realized you no longer recognize yourself? I found myself as a weepy, angry, hard person. No one circumstance is to blame. I think it was a slow build that led to where every part of me was left crying out for change.

I have found comfort that the baby born in that stable so many years ago…lives, loves, and is my Savior. He carried me through.

With that fact, I also started going to counseling for the first time in my 33 years of life this year. There’s no shame in being raw, open, and honest. It’s actually one of the truest beauties I know. I wish we could all just ignore all the media screaming for our attention for just a minute (or the whole new year) to breathe and remember who we are without needing to be told what we should be.

I can tell you this. I still feel tender. I still feel like I’m healing. I still feel like I’m broken. But I have peace. I am learning to rest.

No, this is not my year to open a store.

No, this is not my year to try to start-up another entrepreneurial venture like sending out craft kits again or hosting craft events.

I keep telling myself these two things.

I’m still working through what my one little word will be for 2016, but I am excited.

deuel kidsI know I am carrying some burdens from 2015 with me, but I don’t feel shame or like they are holding me down. It feels like a conviction that can only lead to a renewed refreshment. It has me begging Jesus, “where do you want me to go from here?” “How can we use this year of pain to grow and change?”

I’m not done. Jesus is not done with me. I’m ever-changing. This world is ever-changing. I have things I need to learn and practice. God is at work, and I am so thankful I am not alone to journey this life. He sees me at my worst and wants to carry me to my best. I just need to lean in and fully accept.

deuel familyHow are you processing your year-end? How are you feeling about a new year?

These next few days of processing and planning in between years are some of my favorite. Matt and I always try to get away or at least get a date night to talk, process highs and lows of the previous year and set goals for ourselves, marriage and kids for the new year-while expressing things we feel are stirring in our hearts and dreams of where we want to head.

Take a chance. Take a night to do this too. We can journey it together. And because we can all only handle so much heaviness, I put fun Christmas pictures in this post. I am truly blessed. I can’t wait for the new year and to see what good things God has in store for us. I pray you rest well till the norm of life sets back in, after the holidays.

deuel family christmas card

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Their Hearts are Bigger than their Home

December 4, 2015 By Erica Deuel 1 Comment

kindness_matters to kidsHave you ever been in a moment where the reality of a major life change hits you? It may be your wedding day. It may be a graduation. Maybe it is the birth of a child. It could be the moment your best friend moves away. A new job. These are moments where we realize that life is changing. Sometimes we have a say in those moments and sometimes we don’t. What if you could help change some lives forever for GOOD?

Children in foster care have a chunk of my heart. I will never forget the feelings as we sat in our first training classes. I felt an awakening, as if I was on the brink of doing something I was always made to do. When I think of how I have been wired, there is a piece of me that just beats to be an advocate for these kids. They are innocent. So often their life has been messed up and they are merely the victims. They need hope. They need open arms. They need patience, grace, and a whole lot of love.

We recently said good-bye to the little boy we were loving on. He was with us for four months. When I look back on that experience, there are parts of me that can’t believe we did it. Fostering children is hard. You are dealing with hurting little people trying to make sense of a world that doesn’t make sense. More often than not you are showing them a new world. All they’ve known to be normal…is suddenly gone and there’s new faces in the picture.

It’s hard.

Then you add in appointments, therapies, visits, and numerous other things…it’s just hard. There are several faces that come to mind when I think of our experience, and they kept my head above water.

They saw the hurt in my eyes when I said I was ok.

They told me they were coming to help with the kids for the day.

They brought meals.

They sent me songs and verses.

They hugged me just a little tighter.

They let me cry and they cheered me on.

They watched my kids.

They gave me a playset.

They opened their homes to our craziness.

They cared for a sick one while we were in a hospital with another.

They kept calling me, when I stopped returning calls.

They were angels on earth.

What is often overlooked when thinking of foster care is it takes an army. You do not have to have a child actually live in your home to play a part in helping children in foster care. There are numerous other ways to help and make a difference. I will tell you from my experience, the people who are housing hurting kids…have a hard time asking for help, but they need it.

They need your support.

They need your eyes to see and heart to hear.

They need a break and they need advocates who understand.

These precious souls I call angels on earth. I would not have survived and been able to be in the trenches without help.

Just a little before we took our last boy in, my sister and her husband took in a little foster girl. They slowly learned she was one of five and have worked to get three of her other siblings reunited under their roof. Olivia and Cody are caring for their own two biological girls and now a sibling group of four. They have six kids 6-years-old and younger in their care. They are in the trenches and truly being the hands and feet of Christ.

feetThey need our help.

What was originally approved as an acceptable bedroom  placement and living situation has now been deemed not acceptable. They are a young couple. Their hearts are bigger than their home.

It is their heart’s desire to keep these kids united without having to be moved yet again…until it is time for them to go home. Weeks before Christmas, they are in jeopardy of being split up again and having to move and change schools a third time this semester.

A temporary living arrangement has been approved at their home with the understanding that they will start construction process to create an addition very soon. You can help us make this possible.

sing_renoWe can’t all take in a foster child, much less a sibling group of four to love as our own, but we can all help support those that do. These kids are on the brink of being split up. They can’t fight for life together on their own. We are their voice.

Would you consider giving to this Go Fund Me Campaign?

Would you share this post with your community?

Some of us can do a little. Some of us can do a lot. All of us can do something, and every little bit will add up to make a difference.

To help make this fun and add a little incentive for you, I have set up a giveaway. Enter as many ways as you want/can for your chance to win these handmade goodies of mine. This prize pack is valued at $75 and will be shipped right to your doorstep when you win.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

MasterpieceAs I recall all of my angels on earth and the ways they helped us through our last foster placement, it excites me to be on the other side of the equation. Please join me and let’s be an overwhelming army of support for the Sing family. Ready… Set… Give! Share! Go!!!

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DIY Industrial Shelves

April 30, 2015 By Erica Deuel Leave a Comment

diy_industrial_shelvesWhen I was a little girl, I wanted to be a librarian. Visiting used books stores and using my baby-sitting money to buy books was one of my favorite things to do. Today, I still have a lot of those books. My Baby-Sitters Club series I know is a hot commodity. I just hope Reagan likes those books too or I have saved them all these years…to just save them.

When we settled in this house, we knew we wanted to get some of the books (that had been boxed up from two moves ago-when we moved out of our first home) unpacked. We needed shelves to make this possible! After thinking through different designs and furniture options, we came up with this industrial open shelving solution.

It is in our foster care bedroom, which is a smaller room. There’s only really one wall option for the daybed, which left one possible wall for the shelves. We worked around a closet, and I want to share our process so you can create these shelves too!

before_bedroom_makeoverSupplies needed for each shelf: (The length of wood or the amount of each item is up to how long your shelf may end up)

  •  2″ x 8″ boards
  • 1/2″ x 8″ black iron pipe (in the plumbing section)
  • 1/2″ black iron cap fitting (in the plumbing section)
  • 1/2″ galvanized floor flange (in the plumbing section) we got the galvanized because I liked the contrast with the black iron. You can get which ever color you like.
  • 2 1/2″ Screws
  • Drywall Anchors w/Screws (Or whatever anchor you need for your type of wall)

We started by painting the wall. I painted it the same wall color of our boys bedroom. Matt then checked for studs in the wall. Our house is an older house, so our wall was a little warped. This made it a little difficult to measure. Once Matt had found the studs that is how we decided where to place the floor flanges. Matt started with the top shelf and lined up the floor flanges with the studs. These shelves are heavy, before you even place anything on them. Make sure to properly anchor them to the wall. He turned the floor flange so that two of the holes would line up with the stud. For the other two holes he used Drywall anchors. The anchors, of course, need to be installed prior to attaching to the wall studs. Once all the holes were lined up and the drywall anchors were installed, he drove in the screws.

making_shelvesThe shelf seemed a little crooked at first. Keep in mind you are working with wood that could be warped, so look for the strongest/flattest boards when picking up your supplies. This can take some time and patience. Big box store wood is usually crappy but if you dig through the pile you can find some good pieces. Also, keep in mind the boards may settle a little  once there is weight on them. Finally, once all of your shelves are in place and staged, it is very difficult to spot minor imperfections.

Once the floor flanges were in place, it was as simple as screwing in the iron pipe and then screwing the iron cap in place.

how_to_make_shelvesWe placed our shelves the same 18″ apart. This step is totally up to you. I wanted room for tall books, decor, and to still see some wall which is how we came up with our distance. Matt completed the same process on the two lower shelves. Once we had the pipes in place, it was easy to tell how long our boards needed to be cut. We cut them and placed them on the pipes to be sure it was what we wanted.

diy_shelvesThis is where we realized the pipes we had bought did not look right. We started with the 10″ black iron pipe, but ended up returning them for the 8″. If you buy the 8″ pipes than you wont have the large gap in your shelves. What we also realized is that the threads on the pipe will not screw all the way into the flange or the cap.  Below you can see the difference in using the 10″ inch and 8″ pipes. Of course you could purchase 2″ x 10″ wood to give yourself a wider shelf. That’s what I love about this shelf system, it’s totally customizable.

making_industrial_wall_shelvesI was not sure what kind of color I wanted to make the shelves, so we tested a few out. Since this room is a little smaller with only one small window, it tends to feel darker. I painted the walls a light, light blue and decided to keep the shelves light as well. I thought if the walls and shelves were lighter overall, I could add pops of color for fun but still brighten the room up a bit in the overall feel. I ended up going with Rust-oleum’s Driftwood Stain. I love it!

testing_wood_stainsI used a sponge brush and painted the boards. I let the stain sit for a while and then I used an old t-shirt to rub the excess stain off.

rustoleum_wood_stainOnce the stain was dry, we put the boards in place. I loved the look, but decided I wanted one more shelf. I opted for it to not go any lower, so the kids were not at arms reach. We did something a little different and ended up turning around the corner and adding another shelf out of the middle of our current series.industrial_shelves_tutorial

shelves_for_kids_roomI love how it turned out! I even got most of our books out on the shelves in the process. I plan to switch out the books in the basket (on the floor) with new ones from the shelf or kids room, so our kids can be regularly reading/looking at books but not having to try to get them off the shelf themselves.

Since this is our foster care bedroom and we don’t know the exact age or gender that will be with us at any time, it was a little hard to know how to decorate the room. I love to make things personal, but I figure decorating the shelves can easily change once the room is in use. I used a few signs, stuffed animals, plants, and other little things to decorate the shelves around all the books. It made a sweet little reading corner, don’t you think?

DIY_wood_book_shelves

kids_reading_cornerI’m so excited at how fun this little corner turned out while still being very functional. We rocked all three of our babies in that rocker, and now it’s in a room where we hope to love on more kids that come into our home.

I have such a thing for mixing colors, and I just love that the shelves have the galvanized, black, and light stain coloring all incorporated. You can easily modify this shelf colors to fit your taste too!

industrial_book_shelvesWhen you walk in our front door, this room is immediately to your right. I love that it looks like a fun, welcoming spot.  We all love to sit in there already. Matt called it my library the other day, and my heart smiled. This room will hopefully get lots of use.

bohemian_house

DIY_book_shelvesWhat do you think? Do you have a place in your home that could use some fun, industrial type shelves?

Do you still have your childhood books as well? Please tell me I’m not the only one! Hoarder alert 🙂

I hope you’re having a great week-thanks so much for stopping by!

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I’m Not Here To Be Average

March 15, 2015 By Erica Deuel Leave a Comment

I saw this quote somewhere on Pinterest recently, and I have not been able to shake it from my head.

I'm_not_here_to_be_average

Everyone wants to leave a mark and to feel like they made a difference in the world.

When I think of my kids, when I think of life on this earth, and even when I think of my day-to-day life…I hope and pray that I am not average. Who dreams of being average, right!?

For us, we are in the middle of tackling our foster care paper work to get recertified. We started in January, but in reality it hasn’t been until the last two weeks have we really started going after it. There are so many forms and appointments needed to get this done. It’s consuming and draining. As I have finally started it, its had me thinking “why has it taken 5 months to get this done?” It is our heart beat. It is a part of our calling. We want to help. Why have we waited so long to get back into it?

The short of the answer is we moved, we lived with a friends for a while, and since then we have been setting up house. The deeper issue is that I wasn’t ready. I think our whole family needed time to heal.

I know for me, I left our last experience thinking my voice didn’t matter. Doing this ministry didn’t matter. We didn’t make a difference. No one cared what we thought.

It’s important to know the state of your heart. That may be how I felt, but it wasn’t the truth. My voice did matter. It mattered when I spoke truth to the hurting heart and those who had power of his/her future. What others did with given information was not my responsibility. It was just my job to love well.

It may not be foster care for you. It may just be your relationship with your own kids. It may be your job, your ministry, your neighborhood, etc. But, can you relate?

The days can be so long. The moments can feel like they don’t matter.  It can seem like there are no roots growing. But what I know to be true is those are emotional responses. It takes the hard work of showing up every day, week, month doing the small things that may be considered average to produce change or become something powerful.

It is the commitment to the average everyday tasks and experiences done in truth and love that can be awesome. I made this little sign and printed it huge as an engineer print, and it now hangs in my kids bathroom to remind us all.

colorful_bathroom_decor

wood_deer

bohemian_bathroom_elements

colorful_floor_mats

bohemian_bathroomI first showed you this bathroom here, and I am excited to now have a print in it that I think can speak truth over my kids, our company, and any other hurting child that comes through our doors.

Mom life is hard. Foster care is hard, yet these two jobs may be the most important roles I ever play. May these average moments (like getting an afternoon snack handed out that all three agree on) matter.

printable_poster

kids_are_awesomeThere are moments when I see that they do matter. As we have tackled our paper work, gone to doctor visits and prepared for home visits. I have asked my kids…

“Do you want to do foster care again?”

“Why do you want to do this again?”

“Why do we do this?”

Their responses melt me, stop me in my tracks, and remind me: it’s not about me.


 So, we can love on kids

So, we can help make their lives different

I want the kids to feel special

I want them to feel love

Hope their family will treat them better and learn good stuff

Hope their mom and dad can be good parents

Give them good food

Take good care of them

I can share my toys

I can be nice to them

Love it patient. Love is kind.

I’m excited to meet new people.

I hope they like to catch bugs.

kids_posterThese sweet kids are a huge part of my world. The way I talk and walk in my everyday moments are affecting the little hearts in my home…no matter if they are my biological, extended family, or in the foster care system. Words and actions have power.

So, all you tired, emotionally exhausted, have nothing left to give at the end of the day mamas out there know this…you aren’t average. Those dreams of being something awesome…are already true. Pick up your feet, wipe off the dust, ask for forgiveness, forgive yourself, pray for strength and keep on going. Just keep swimming.

**Please note: This print is now available as an automatic download purchase here, so you too can print it out.**

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