Pain.
It’s one of those small little words that we all probably wish did not exist. When I think of my 2015, pain is one of the words that I would use to describe it. There are a lot of factors on why that I can’t really share, but I’m sure (more now than ever before) that I’m not alone in some of what I went through.
You might be like me, I often find myself wrestling through why bad things happen to good people. Why are there so many miscarriages? Why do we prepare for and dream of kids, that we never get? Why do we have dreams of paths that aren’t meant for us to go down? Why are we asked to go down paths that leave us raw, tender, broken? Why is there cancer? Why is there hunger? So many questions.
I don’t have real answers on the whys. I know we live in a sinful world. Yet, I also know we have a Savior who hurts with us. One who sees our pains and desires to walk, carry and bring us through these chaotic moments and seasons of our lives.
For me personally, we have had a lot of changes in the last few years from two moves, job changes, community changing, being foster care parents, leaving our beloved Georgia, and starting anew with everything in Indiana. It’s been an adventure. One that we excitedly said yes to, every small step along the way. In some smalls ways, I think I felt the pot brewing at the start of this year that I needed to slow down.
I needed some “no more changes” time. My soul was hungrily crying out for rest, quiet. As it turned out, I wasn’t ready for that peace yet. Jesus had some work to do through me and in me. It was a loud year. It broke me. To be just completely honest, I’m not sure you can be “quiet” (my word was for this year) as a foster care parent.
Have you ever looked in the mirror and realized you no longer recognize yourself? I found myself as a weepy, angry, hard person. No one circumstance is to blame. I think it was a slow build that led to where every part of me was left crying out for change.
I have found comfort that the baby born in that stable so many years ago…lives, loves, and is my Savior. He carried me through.
With that fact, I also started going to counseling for the first time in my 33 years of life this year. There’s no shame in being raw, open, and honest. It’s actually one of the truest beauties I know. I wish we could all just ignore all the media screaming for our attention for just a minute (or the whole new year) to breathe and remember who we are without needing to be told what we should be.
I can tell you this. I still feel tender. I still feel like I’m healing. I still feel like I’m broken. But I have peace. I am learning to rest.
No, this is not my year to open a store.
No, this is not my year to try to start-up another entrepreneurial venture like sending out craft kits again or hosting craft events.
I keep telling myself these two things.
I’m still working through what my one little word will be for 2016, but I am excited.
I know I am carrying some burdens from 2015 with me, but I don’t feel shame or like they are holding me down. It feels like a conviction that can only lead to a renewed refreshment. It has me begging Jesus, “where do you want me to go from here?” “How can we use this year of pain to grow and change?”
I’m not done. Jesus is not done with me. I’m ever-changing. This world is ever-changing. I have things I need to learn and practice. God is at work, and I am so thankful I am not alone to journey this life. He sees me at my worst and wants to carry me to my best. I just need to lean in and fully accept.
How are you processing your year-end? How are you feeling about a new year?
These next few days of processing and planning in between years are some of my favorite. Matt and I always try to get away or at least get a date night to talk, process highs and lows of the previous year and set goals for ourselves, marriage and kids for the new year-while expressing things we feel are stirring in our hearts and dreams of where we want to head.
Take a chance. Take a night to do this too. We can journey it together. And because we can all only handle so much heaviness, I put fun Christmas pictures in this post. I am truly blessed. I can’t wait for the new year and to see what good things God has in store for us. I pray you rest well till the norm of life sets back in, after the holidays.
Have you ever been in a moment where the reality of a major life change hits you? It may be your wedding day. It may be a graduation. Maybe it is the birth of a child. It could be the moment your best friend moves away. A new job. These are moments where we realize that life is changing. Sometimes we have a say in those moments and sometimes we don’t. What if you could help change some lives forever for GOOD?
As I recall all of my angels on earth and the ways they helped us through our last foster placement, it excites me to be on the other side of the equation. Please join me and let’s be an overwhelming army of support for the Sing family. Ready… Set… 
When I was a little girl, I wanted to be a librarian. Visiting used books stores and using my baby-sitting money to buy books was one of my favorite things to do. Today, I still have a lot of those books. My Baby-Sitters Club series I know is a hot commodity. I just hope Reagan likes those books too or I have saved them all these years…to just save them.
Supplies needed for each shelf: (The length of wood or the amount of each item is up to how long your shelf may end up)
The shelf seemed a little crooked at first. Keep in mind you are working with wood that could be warped, so look for the strongest/flattest boards when picking up your supplies. This can take some time and patience. Big box store wood is usually crappy but if you dig through the pile you can find some good pieces. Also, keep in mind the boards may settle a little once there is weight on them. Finally, once all of your shelves are in place and staged, it is very difficult to spot minor imperfections.
We placed our shelves the same 18″ apart. This step is totally up to you. I wanted room for tall books, decor, and to still see some wall which is how we came up with our distance. Matt completed the same process on the two lower shelves. Once we had the pipes in place, it was easy to tell how long our boards needed to be cut. We cut them and placed them on the pipes to be sure it was what we wanted.
This is where we realized the pipes we had bought did not look right. We started with the 10″ black iron pipe, but ended up returning them for the 8″. If you buy the 8″ pipes than you wont have the large gap in your shelves. What we also realized is that the threads on the pipe will not screw all the way into the flange or the cap. Below you can see the difference in using the 10″ inch and 8″ pipes. Of course you could purchase 2″ x 10″ wood to give yourself a wider shelf. That’s what I love about this shelf system, it’s totally customizable.
I was not sure what kind of color I wanted to make the shelves, so we tested a few out. Since this room is a little smaller with only one small window, it tends to feel darker. I painted the walls a light, light blue and decided to keep the shelves light as well. I thought if the walls and shelves were lighter overall, I could add pops of color for fun but still brighten the room up a bit in the overall feel. I ended up going with Rust-oleum’s Driftwood Stain. I love it!
I used a sponge brush and painted the boards. I let the stain sit for a while and then I used an old t-shirt to rub the excess stain off.
Once the stain was dry, we put the boards in place. I loved the look, but decided I wanted one more shelf. I opted for it to not go any lower, so the kids were not at arms reach. We did something a little different and ended up turning around the corner and adding another shelf out of the middle of our current series.
I love how it turned out! I even got most of our books out on the shelves in the process. I plan to switch out the books in the basket (on the floor) with new ones from the shelf or kids room, so our kids can be regularly reading/looking at books but not having to try to get them off the shelf themselves.
I’m so excited at how fun this little corner turned out while still being very functional. We rocked all three of our babies in that rocker, and now it’s in a room where we hope to love on more kids that come into our home.
When you walk in our front door, this room is immediately to your right. I love that it looks like a fun, welcoming spot. We all love to sit in there already. Matt called it my library the other day, and my heart smiled. This room will hopefully get lots of use.
What do you think? Do you have a place in your home that could use some fun, industrial type shelves?
I first showed you this bathroom 
There are moments when I see that they do matter. As we have tackled our paper work, gone to doctor visits and prepared for home visits. I have asked my kids…