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IDEAfarm and Silence

August 6, 2012 By Erica Deuel 5 Comments

Yesterday, IDEAfarm 2012 ended.  It is crazy that this event that we have been planning, dreaming of, and looking forward to has come and gone.  It was amazing!  This was our third summer to do IDEAfarm, and I have left feeling inspired after every single one.  It is a weird feeling to want to give and invest in others, but yet walk away encouraged, challenged, and inspired.

The students and leaders that we had come were incredible.  Their stories, their passions, their dreams are moving.  They were real, honest, and open.  When those three things are together there is such a sense of community instantly.  I am still processing all that I felt and what I feel like is going on inside of me.

Yes, I helped prepare the food and was a small, small part to help pull this event off.  BUT, I got to listen to some amazing sessions and talk to some amazing people.  I feel like Matt and I have had such a crazy summer and have been going and going non-stop.  I had a had two-hour drive (both ways) by myself .  On top of that I had a deep heart inspiring time.  It left me well…soft.  I don’t know another word to describe it right now.  I feel at a tender place.  Open, challenged and seeking maybe?  I have been so busy going.  I have been moving and doing things a little off course

I don’t feel like I am way off course or anything.  It’s more that I just need time to breathe, re-center, and figure some things out.  A key point in Andrew’s talk on Friday night was “we can be a small part in something BIG or a BIG part in something small”.  I can’t shake that concept.  It’s burning in me, and I am trying to figure out what I am about.  I want to be a small part in something big.

I’ve gotten to build into these two beauties since they were in seventh grade.  I look at them now, and they are two of the most gorgeous girls I know.

Literally, they are so inspiring.  I walk away from talking to them, and I know they are impacting the world for good.  I can not take credit at all for them, but I look at them and think of all those times I was tired and worn out from pouring into some “young kids”.  Maybe here I was a small part in something big? There were so many times I wanted to quit being their small group leader cause they were “out of control”, “didn’t get it”, and “didn’t care”.  We hung in there together.  They put up with me crying at them, fighting for their hearts (and attention), and starting my family.

They have hearts for things that matter and they have dreams and ideas to care and build into women.  They are world changers.  It’s hard for me to realize that I can’t build into girls in the same way these days.  I feel like doing life with people is the way to best build in trust in love so that you have a door to speak into their lives.  It is hard to do that daily with the needs of three young ones.  Although, I will continue to love these girls and be there for them, I know I don’t have the capacity  to do that with a new group of girls.

My season is my kids right now.  I think that’s ok and that is the way it is supposed to be, but yet I have been trying to do SO much more.

My kids are my world and they are my ministry right now.  It wont always be that way, but I have the very small opportunity and gift to build into them with everything in me.  I am not doing that.  I think of how I spend my time and things that are taking from me, and I know I can do better.  I want to do better.

They are my dream, and I need to give them more time and space in my mind.  Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think I am way off.  It’s just convicting to know I can do better.  God’s grace has swept over me.  I can look at my little girl dancing (and dance with her), smiling, and thinking this is the best moment, but also be thinking of a huge to do list.  I’m not as fully present as I want to be.

I have this friend that will sit and color with her kids for thirty minutes straight.  I don’t do that.  I might set them up to color and color for a few minutes, but then I rush off to check email,  fold a load of clothes, or even to check this blog.  I have been having waves of vertigo again, and I know it is because I have been stressed and trying to do too much.  They are my job and all the other “jobs” don’t really matter.

I have lost grasp on that perspective.  I have gotten caught up with doing fun things, trying to have it all together, and taking advantage of not having a “baby” any more.  For so long, we were in survival mode and trying to figure out how to handle three kids.  Don’t get me wrong, we still have hard days with three young kids, but they don’t require the same amount from me.

Or so I had convinced myself.  They do still need me, and they do more now than ever.  Although, their physical needs are easily met, now their hearts are grasping more than ever aswell.  Their little eyes see things and are impacting/imprinting their hearts.  I wanted to keep Caleb home for kindergarten, to build into and impact him.  I praise the Lord he has gotten my attention before I rushed into a school year at the pace I was going.  I would have been impacting him for the worse.  Now, I am more excited than ever to homeschool his little mind and heart.

I know I need to slow down and re-center my priorities, but it’s hard to hold onto that perspective (& figure out how to do it on a daily basis) without allowing the space and time to process and be still.

IDEAfarm started something in me, and I want to give it the attention it deserves.  We leave on Wednesday to head to the beach, and i am so excited about it!  I am going to allow this trip to start a month of social media silence for me.

I think it will be hard at times, but it will also be really good.  Haha I don’t trust myself though, so I am literally going to delete the FaceBook app on my phone to keep me from breaking down.

I am pausing all Friday Project Spotlight posts, and I will probably stop posting for this next month all together on this blog.  I can’t promise that though.  🙂  I am such an inward processor and it helps me to type things out to find clarity on how I feel about things.  If I am not publically posting things, there will definitely be a lot of “drafts” going on that I can post after my “social media silence”.

Today is Aug. 6 and I think I will be back sometime that first week of September.  Thank you for reading about this time.  I appreciate all your prayers and for those of you gave to make IDEAfarm possible.  I can’t tell you how incredible it was.  I feel like I am not doing it or whats going on in me justice with this post, as I am still trying to figure it all out.

I can tell you this though, I felt so so incredibly connected and loved by Jesus this weekend.  The most I have in a while, because I literally just made myself available.  He used people to speak truth over me and to me.  I have not had many moments in my life that I feel like God verbally spoke to me in some way that was so crystal clear.  I had that this weekend.

The moment I fully accepted the challenge going on in my heart, I stood up to walk out of the session (to go help with lunch of course and not running from my confrontation at all)…I received a message that I could not ignore.  God was not going to let me brush this thing off.  I know this is vague.  Haha I don’t have it all figured out, but I am hoping when I come back, I will.

I am praying that this month, I allow God to direct mine and Matt’s paths.  I’m seeking that he will give us a view of what is next for us, with daily ways of how to get there.  Thank you for being on this journey with us!

Thank you so much for being patient with me and caring and loving for my family during this silence.

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DIY End Table

August 3, 2012 By Erica Deuel 1 Comment

I have been wanting to share this project with you for a while now.  I finished this little table back in May and was saving it for a week like this one…when my “projects” were not the spectacular crafty sorts but just more life sorts.  For example, tackling a consignment sale is not my every week sort of thing.

For eight years we have had the same two end tables in our living room.  I was getting a bit board with them.  We turned one of them into Caleb’s work bench outside.

He adores it!  He now has a place to store his tool box and work on his projects, where I wont start moving them all around and cleaning up.  It is his area.  The second table needed a makeover to keep using it in our livingroom, so I turned into a decoupaged, painted, fun piece.

I love the way it turned out!  I will try to keep these details short, since I have been having some rather lengthy posts lately.

Step One:  I primed it and painted it white.

Step Two:  I painted the bottom half with gray paint we had left over from our kitchen makeover.

Step Three:  I painted the top ridge with a light, light icy blue.  It almost looked white, until it was put against white.

Step Four:  I mod podged music sheets to the top of the table.  I did several coats of mod podge on top (letting it dry completely between each coat).

Step Five:  Put your hardware back on and enjoy!!


That picture fully shows my DIY photo coasters I made a while back.  I love to enjoy my projects once they are finally finished!!  It is such a rewarding feeling to see something you made, give a room a new look.  You guys can do this project!  So easy!  The hard part is waiting for the paint to dry!  I’m not a very patient person.  🙂

Thank you so much for checking into my Friday Project Spotlight!!  I am off to Ideafarm this weekend!  I can’t wait to join my hubby and the rest of the Broken Voices team for a life changing, inspirational weekend!  You guys might remember me talking about Ideafarm here.  In short…

“IDEAfarm is a four-day experience for college-aged people who are looking to take a specific discontent they have with the world today and do something about it. It’s an experience for young people who are looking to do something more, looking to be a part of something bigger. Each summer, IDEAfarm takes place at Lake Jackson in Atlanta, Georgia, providing an intimate environment for our students to grow and thrive. With the use of whole group sessions, small group meetings, and free time to spend both in community and in solitude, IDEAfarm’s purpose is found.”

I can’t believe this weekend/event is already here!  The summer flew by!

I hope you guys have a great weekend!  I’ll be back next week with a post of how this weekend went!  Please be praying for us and our students!

Party It Up at:  One Creative Mommy, Cheerios and Lattes

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Broken Voices and Idea Farm

June 28, 2012 By Erica Deuel 1 Comment

Most of you probably know that My husband and I run a non-profit called Broken Voices.  We have been apart of it for about four years now.  I havent talked much about it on here, but it is something I truly believe in.  I would love for you all to read a short excerpt from an email my husband wrote to our followers this week…

“Broken Voices is a non-profit organization based in Atlanta, GA. We exist to inspire college-aged people to dream big and act now. What does that mean? Quite simply, we believe that everyone has a God-given passion: a strength inside of you that would make a significant difference in the world if it was lived out. Specifically, we use films and live events that work to inspire people to uncover those passions and begin taking action on them.
If you’d like to learn more please check out our new website.
Or feel free to check out one of the stories we’ve caught on camera that help spread hope and inspiration on a daily basis.
Finally, we have an event coming up that we are pretty excited about called IDEAfarm. It’s just like what it sounds, imagine a cornfield—not just any cornfield, but the best one ever. Instead of rows of corn stalks, we have a group of college-aged folks that have a ton of great ideas that they are ready to harvest. We spend four days together working through strengths, weaknesses, and practical steps of action to begin seeing these ideas through to reality. It’s a pretty intimate gathering down at Jackson Lake, GA, but we do have a few open spots. Do you or someone you know need to join us? Oh, and did I mention that it’s paid for by our generous supporters? Click here to check out the details.
We are looking forward to a really exciting couple of months and I’m glad you are in the journey with us.

Sincerely,
Matt Deuel
Executive Director”

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this!!  Like Matt asked, do you know of anyone who should be at Idea Farm in a few weeks??  We would love to hear from them!  Have them contact us soon!

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