A lot of my posts are about my kids, so I thought this one would be about me!  In June, I started having really crazy dizzy spells.  It probably took a good month for me to realize it was more than being dehydrated, tired, hot, hungry, PMS or anything else weird.  I was also running so I thought maybe it was because of increasing my mileage in the Georgia heat that caused me to feel so bad.  I stopped running to see if that helped (which was SO hard to do!  I missed it!), and it didn’t.

I still had the spells, so I went to the dr after about six weeks of this and was diagnosed with vertigo.  I was both relieved and super frustrated.  I was thankful it wasn’t anything more serious, but the diagnosing of vertigo has such a range of time frames/degrees.  My doctor said I could have it for a year straight or off and on (for several weeks to months at a time) for the rest of my life.  For being someone who is a planner…how do you deal with not knowing what to expect??

If I was not dizzy and spinning I was “seeing stars” and felt like a veering/pulling to the left or right (like a cars alignment being off) all the time.  I threw up a handful of times and I tripped all the time.  I lost sleep and emotionally hit a depressed place.

Praise the LORD I can start talking in past tense!!  I think I am on week three of having full days and days straight with out ANY spells.  I feel like I have been healed and my two months of vertigo are gone.  Granted it could come back to being more frequent…but for now its not!  Thank you Jesus!

The hardest part of being sick for two months straight is that I felt I was expected to be the same.  The physical aspect was horrible, but I also felt like everyone looked at me and thought I was the same.  I wasn’t.  It was probably two of the hardest if not THE hardest two months of my life.

I feel like I survived because of my husband.  He was/is the most amazing thing.  He constantly asked how I felt, cooked meals, cleaned, researched vertigo, cared for our kiddos, bought me expensive homeopathic drugs, and even let me stay in bed and sleep when I could.

I think what I am walking away the most from this season of my life (and hopefully will be able to hold onto for the next possible wave of vertigo) is this…we do not have control of our lives.  That is a hard realization.  When ever I have felt stressed or over whelmed there are things I can do to change how I feel.  Simplify my schedule and do less.  When it is your health…your actual body that is hurt…you feel weak and really helpless.  I was forced to trust God.  I had no control on what was happening to me.

My prescription didn’t do anything for me but make me tired.  I tried some “exercises”.  I tried switching up my diet…and that is where I started seeing some progress.  So to this day I don’t know if it was my diet change or just that my “phase” was over.

I am feeling so much better!  Maybe on top of learning to lose control and submit to God, he wanted me to start eating better…because I sure do CRAVE my daily salads now!!  I’m back running and feeling really blessed for where I am now.

Thank you to Matt and some family and friends that literally walked through this with me!  I give all thanks and glory to God to be healed as well!

I could not love this guy anymore…

Caleb was the snack helper this week at his preschool, which means he got to take snacks into share everyday this week.  We had fun with it and made butterflies with Berry Berry Kix Cereal for his snack for one day.  Caleb worked so so hard on these tastly treats for his friends!  He loved painting the clothespins!  He picked out all the colors and told me who each one was for as he painted them… naming all the kids in his class!  We laughed really hard at some of the faces he drew on the butterflies…mad faces…ones with sunglasses…ones with hair…it was pretty hilarious!  Having some special time with this guy after school while the other two are sleeping has become one of my favorite times of the day.  He is so sweet and is like a real person now!?!  Its wierd to wake up one day and realize you can have real conversations with your child, who even asks about YOUR day.  He is a real friend.  🙂

 

I have never known a girl more loved.  I know there are so many cute girls that are adored by their parents and family (I know of some pretty cute girls personally:)).  I guess I have never loved a girl so much and seen others I love, love her so much as well.  Our family is crazy about her.

As much of a surprise as she might have been…we did know we wanted a third child some day.  I guess the hard part was it was not the “timing” I wanted.  I was not quite ready to give myself to a third child.  J still required so much work and we were still figuring so much out with his allergies, asthma, and therapies.  I was tired.

BUT we serve an almighty God who knows us, our needs, and loves us so much!  He knew what we needed more than us.  We needed Reagan.  If I had gotten pregnant any other time/cycle, it would not be this precious girl.

Her brothers adore her.  The small, high pitch voice that Caleb has when he talks to her…sends me to giggles.  The way J always runs into her room to say good-morning to her and wants her to get up…warms my heart.  The boys literally sit on the floor and play with her.

I know God has great plans for her, and I feel so blessed to be able to love on her and walk through this life with her!

I am so thankful for this girl and my family!

I have been dreading fall for the sole reason that my boy, Caleb, was going to start preschool.

There are lots of moments as a mom/parent you wonder if you are doing the right thing.  You question how you are as a parent, your influence on them, and the decisions you make for them.  I think there is so much “worry” in every moment living with the “is this what’s right?” phrase in the back of your head, because they have so much of your heart.  Having kids really is having parts of your heart outside of your body.  It’s the hardest and best thing ever.

Having Caleb going to school is one of those parenting moments for me.  There are so many reasons why we think Caleb is supposed to go to school.  Without trying to show or “convince” you its the right thing, I am seeing and learning that I need to trust what God has placed on our heart…and let that be my peace.  Although, I still will miss him.

All that to say, the last few days I have been resting more in that peace.  I trusted our decision more…and the dreading of today lessened.  Roswell Presbyterian is a wonderful Preschool, from what I have seen and heard so far.  I loved the meet and great last week and the sneak a peek for Caleb to meet his teacher.  I think both times lead me to slowly preparing for today.

Caleb could barely fall asleep last night he was so excited!  He has been talking about school all summer.  Every time we passed his school he would point it out and ask about it.  He has been SO so excited , so the boy was still awake in his room at 11:00pm.  I woke at 3:00am and found him and J sitting up in bed with toys, talking quietly.  Haha no way had they stayed up all that time, but it was a sweet brother moment.  It was like they were soaking up their last night as just the two of them.  Until now they have been each other’s everyday playmate.  They have shared everything…room, clothes, toys, time, friends, schedules…everything.  I think that is what makes today such a monumental moment in our family.  I don’t like change.  I really, really want them to stay best friends.

As a four-year old, Caleb has/is lost his two best friends (outside of J) to moves.  That’s a lot for a kid.  He needs friends his age and this routine/structure.  It will be good, so I continue to trust that God knows our family and is leading us.

Haha although, as his mommy, I hold the ability that I can yank him out at any moment very close to my heart! 🙂

Enough about me…I know you want to know about Caleb!!  He was great!  He woke up excited and eager!!  H jumped right into his outfit that we had laid out last night.  He ate his healthy breakfast and took all the pictures this mama wanted!  We prayed over our sweet boy, and I had sweet talks with him on the short drive to school…whispering truths that he is a great kid and his teachers will love him.  As I walked him into his class, he got a little more shy.  He hung up his bag and greeted his teacher with a big smile but the unsureness set in a little for him.  He has been so strong and excited.  I knew it was my turn to be strong for him.  I got teary eyed but held back the “flow” of the ugly cry.  We had our moment of hugs and whispers of seeing each other soon.  Than I left my boy sitting at a table with a few other kids and walked away.

I was choked up on the way home, heavy hearted…but overall ok.  I had a great morning loving my sweet kiddos.  J and I had “school” at home.  We colored, baked first day of school cookies, played play dough, played potato heads, played with Reagan and their sweet cousin, Natalie, and even played tools.  Than my incredible friend, Esther, came and talked to me for a couple of hours.  Literally hung out till Caleb walked through my door.  I don’t think either of us knew how much I needed her in that time.

It’s such a blessing that our God knows us more than we do…and gives and loves on us through community.  I am truly blessed with her friendship and a heavenly father who loves me oh so much.

Caleb had a special lunch with his daddy getting pizza, and then he came home!  He LOVED school!!!  He had lots of sweet stories to tell!!  We had a special cookie snack and talked all about his day the two of us, since the other kiddos were asleep.  It was a sweet time!  Haha and wouldn’t you know he and J are both still asleep as I write this!  I think they were both worn out!

We DID it!!  The first day of school was a success!!  Thank you to all for reading this post and by that I mean…loving our family!

Time to go play with my kiddos 🙂