I have been dreading fall for the sole reason that my boy, Caleb, was going to start preschool.
There are lots of moments as a mom/parent you wonder if you are doing the right thing. You question how you are as a parent, your influence on them, and the decisions you make for them. I think there is so much “worry” in every moment living with the “is this what’s right?” phrase in the back of your head, because they have so much of your heart. Having kids really is having parts of your heart outside of your body. It’s the hardest and best thing ever.
Having Caleb going to school is one of those parenting moments for me. There are so many reasons why we think Caleb is supposed to go to school. Without trying to show or “convince” you its the right thing, I am seeing and learning that I need to trust what God has placed on our heart…and let that be my peace. Although, I still will miss him.
All that to say, the last few days I have been resting more in that peace. I trusted our decision more…and the dreading of today lessened. Roswell Presbyterian is a wonderful Preschool, from what I have seen and heard so far. I loved the meet and great last week and the sneak a peek for Caleb to meet his teacher. I think both times lead me to slowly preparing for today.
Caleb could barely fall asleep last night he was so excited! He has been talking about school all summer. Every time we passed his school he would point it out and ask about it. He has been SO so excited , so the boy was still awake in his room at 11:00pm. I woke at 3:00am and found him and J sitting up in bed with toys, talking quietly. Haha no way had they stayed up all that time, but it was a sweet brother moment. It was like they were soaking up their last night as just the two of them. Until now they have been each other’s everyday playmate. They have shared everything…room, clothes, toys, time, friends, schedules…everything. I think that is what makes today such a monumental moment in our family. I don’t like change. I really, really want them to stay best friends.
As a four-year old, Caleb has/is lost his two best friends (outside of J) to moves. That’s a lot for a kid. He needs friends his age and this routine/structure. It will be good, so I continue to trust that God knows our family and is leading us.
Haha although, as his mommy, I hold the ability that I can yank him out at any moment very close to my heart! 🙂
Enough about me…I know you want to know about Caleb!! He was great! He woke up excited and eager!! H jumped right into his outfit that we had laid out last night. He ate his healthy breakfast and took all the pictures this mama wanted! We prayed over our sweet boy, and I had sweet talks with him on the short drive to school…whispering truths that he is a great kid and his teachers will love him. As I walked him into his class, he got a little more shy. He hung up his bag and greeted his teacher with a big smile but the unsureness set in a little for him. He has been so strong and excited. I knew it was my turn to be strong for him. I got teary eyed but held back the “flow” of the ugly cry. We had our moment of hugs and whispers of seeing each other soon. Than I left my boy sitting at a table with a few other kids and walked away.
I was choked up on the way home, heavy hearted…but overall ok. I had a great morning loving my sweet kiddos. J and I had “school” at home. We colored, baked first day of school cookies, played play dough, played potato heads, played with Reagan and their sweet cousin, Natalie, and even played tools. Than my incredible friend, Esther, came and talked to me for a couple of hours. Literally hung out till Caleb walked through my door. I don’t think either of us knew how much I needed her in that time.
It’s such a blessing that our God knows us more than we do…and gives and loves on us through community. I am truly blessed with her friendship and a heavenly father who loves me oh so much.
Caleb had a special lunch with his daddy getting pizza, and then he came home! He LOVED school!!! He had lots of sweet stories to tell!! We had a special cookie snack and talked all about his day the two of us, since the other kiddos were asleep. It was a sweet time! Haha and wouldn’t you know he and J are both still asleep as I write this! I think they were both worn out!
We DID it!! The first day of school was a success!! Thank you to all for reading this post and by that I mean…loving our family!
Time to go play with my kiddos 🙂