Caleb’s Graduation

Caleb’s graduation was very sweet.

Caleb was so excited the morning of it!  He was ready to go sing all the songs that he and his friends had been working so hard on.

He looked adorable!

This boy warms my heart so much!  I tell him all the time that I need him.  His sweet smiles and encouraging spirit puts joy in me.

What a blessing he is!

I know this is just a small milestone in his life, but it is a step at change none the less.  I don’t like change, so of course I cried a tad this day. 🙂

These two sweet teachers are already missed!  Caleb is wanting to still do “school” and practice his letters.  I have been scrambling to come up with some things for us to do everyday while the other two have quiet time/naps, and its been a lot of fun.

I look at his innocence and I miss my own.  Everything seems so much harder and complex as adults.  I’m currently processing that I don’t think it has to be that way.  As I stepped away from his graduation and processed more of my last entry, I feel like I am on the brink of gaining perspective.

(Thank you to all those who encouraged me with messages, talks, and comments after my last post.  It does so much for the soul to not feel alone in my feelings and also have a community to build into me! )

This was such a sad day and moment for me/us as we said  good-bye, but it was just that a moment.  The hardest part was watching these cute kids not really know what to do…and how to process it.  They said good-bye as if they would see each other next week.

I have not been able to shake that.  We got home from graduation and I had a lump in my throat. But Caleb?! We walked through the door and he stripped off his shirt and was running around playing legos and superheros immediately.  He was alright!?!  All my worries and anxiety were for nothing?!  He quickly moved to “working” with his tools outside and was his happy, playful self.   Why not let him enjoy this season as he sees it!?  He is fine.

I hope that promised play dates happen and life and trips don’t prevent them this summer.  But, what I have learned from my son is we/he will be OK even if they don’t.

I looked at him and thought “he is ok!?!  If he’s OK, I am OK”.

I think God has me on a path of re-centering and coming back to the basics.  I know I’m emotional and can be dramatic.  What!?  🙂  But that is when I am living solely in my flesh, and life was never meant to be that way.

I need to hang onto the simplicity that God offers with a relationship with him.  I don’t have to try to do it all or wear tons of labels and hats.  God has already accepted me just as I am.  In all my weak/hard moments, I am loved just as he created me.  I will hang onto that God is with me, for me and loves me unconditionally.

So, as we process change and whats next…we are not alone.  Praising God that his “love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out on me…and it’s higher than the mountains that I face…and it’s stronger than the power of the grave…and its constant in the trial and the change…this one thing remains…his love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out on me.”