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Lessons I never want to tire of learning

August 24, 2015 By Erica Deuel Leave a Comment

love_is_patient_hoop

As a solider you are trained, given lots of wisdom and time to grow and practice what you have learned way before going into battle. Being a foster care parent is very similar.

We have done this before and have now been trained and certified TWICE. I bet if you ask a solider (I’m sure this is true as well), you learn so much once you hit the battle field. That experience trumps all the preparation done to get to the field.

If I could explain what our family has been going through these last six weeks, I would say it is heavily relearning things we learned the first time around.

There are many highs and lows.

I am relearning the need for community.

I can’t do this on my own.

I need Jesus.

I have darker moments than I want to admit.

We can be somewhat healthy and the moment you add trauma to your family – it’s like a bomb goes off and everyone is effected.

I often need to be in bed by 9:00pm (even if that’s watching a baby monitor)

love_is_patient_embroidery_hoopAlthough it is again one of the hardest things I have had to do, these are lessons I never want to tire of learning. I want so badly to teach my kids patience. This includes my foster son. We need to show love by being patient with our words and actions. We say that often, as you may remember from reading this parenting tip post of ours. I need to remember that it is needed for me to be patient with myself.

We are all still adjusting. Life is different with a new one in the house. We are all learning a new rhythm. The new normal is that there is no normal. That’s a hard concept for one to take in. Especially someone with my personality who thrives on rhythm and steadiness. I have cried. I have wanted to be done. I have questioned if I can do this. I have had to rethink the clarity I felt when I said yes. Did I dream that peace? No, no I didn’t. But, there has been enough tired moments that have left me in all kinds of dark places emotionally.

Although the two long term placements we have had in our home, both boys, different ages, come from different parents and live states away, there is a certain normalcy with adding kids from trauma into your home. I knew this, but I have not been patient to allow my body to catch up to what my heart and head know to be true. I read this post, and it struck me with how accurate her explanation of what I am living is to be true.

love_is_patient_wall_artLove is patient. I will be patient with allowing myself to be a never ending piece of clay that needs molding. I can admit I don’t have it all together. I need Jesus. I need his grasp on the bigger picture in all the hard moments. I need him to speak truth to me, through me, and around me. I can’t do this, but I know the one who can. I call him my Savior. He has not forgotten us. He will sustain, and we will be his hands and feet to the hurting in our home. It is the mission field we prayed it would be.

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I say all this not for you to have pity on me. Seriously. I say this to encourage you. The truths we say to our kids are true for us as well. Love is patient. I will give myself grace to adjust and patience as we figure out our new life. If you too are a foster mama or just a mama in general, don’t forget we are learning everyday. Our homes can be seen as our battle ground. There will be good days with lots of signs of progress and there will be days that are so dark you cry into your pillow. The evil one does not want us to shine love and grace and teach forgiveness. We will get discouraged and feel defeated, but I am relearning we just need to press further in…cry out to Jesus…and have patience in seeing signs of hope.

**This hoop is for sale in the shop here, if you are interested. Thank you so much!**

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Love Your Curls

May 22, 2015 By Erica Deuel 2 Comments

As a mom, one of my biggest hopes for my kids is that they would grow up proud of who they are, how they are wired, and the masterpieces God created them to be.

My boys are gifts that made me a mom, stretched me more than I knew possible, and helped grow me into the mom I am today. I will be forever thankful I got introduced into motherhood with them. When I found out our third was a girl, I was so excited but also….scared to pieces.

It is no secret that girls can be picked apart and critiqued everyday. Sometimes a girls worse critic can be herself. Every comment about her hair, size, color, attitude, likes/dislikes has the power to uplift and build up confidence or tear her completely down.

If I can succeed at anything as a mom to a little girl, I pray that I help her to be confident and convinced in the masterpiece she is. I want so badly for her to grow up knowing she is a unique creation and to and treat herself like she believes it.

wavy_hair_little_girlWhat some may not know about my relationship with my little Reagan Noel is that our biggest fights are about her hair. She hates for is to get styled, washed, brushed, braided, played with, and put in a pony tail. In summary, she really just doesn’t want her hair touched.

She has the most beautiful curly hair. I just adore it, yet it requires care like anything else so that always puts friction between us.

Curly hair gets tangled. The only way I can brush Reagan’s hair is if it gets washed and I comb it while it is wet. Even then, it is still a battle. I don’t wash her hair everyday. So when we do wash and brush it, you can only imagine the cries of my dramatic, sweet four-year old. I am continually trying new brushes, products, and techniques to make this little task easier. I was so excited when I was selected to try Dove’s new curly hair products in their  “Love Your Curls” campaign.

love_your_curlsIf you have a four-year old girl (your experience may be like mine), they like to dress themselves, already have an opinion and taste in clothes, and a little lip gloss will bring them much joy. Reagan is a free spirit when it comes to her style and for the most part I don’t fight it. I let her choose outfits and often times bite my lip when she walks out the door.

When it came to her hair though, I’ve always just taken control. This may be because she is four or may be because for the sake of time it is one thing I can do “quickly”. It has been such an unpleasant experience, why drag it out for longer than it needs to be? I compliment and praise my daughter for her curly hair often, but here was an opportunity to teach her about her hair and build some confidence in the process.

wavy_little_girlWe started with a hair cut. It was hard for her to let her Rapunzel hair goal go, but we cut off eight inches and it is still long. We then tried Dove’s shampoo and conditioner. I let her rub some in her hair, I did as well. There were minimal tears letting her assist with the wash and rinse! I found the shampoo and conditioner left her hair feeling soft and smooth and more manageable!

Next, we tried some of the new Dove styling products.

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Curly_hair_careWe loved the Quench Absolute Supreme Creme Serum. It is Dove’s first curl leave in nourishing treatment. It’s fast absorbing, lightweight and can be used on wet or dry hair. I let Reagan’s hair be about half air-dried when I apply it. I love how you can’t even tell she has a product in her hair. There is no hardness to her curls. They are still lightweight but just a little less frizzy.

When we were done doing her hair, she was smiling so proud. Here I had not just complimented her hair, I let her take some ownership in helping to care for her hair. By taking the time to turn an unpleasant task into a teachable moment, my daughter grew a little pride. I wonder how many special moments I miss by rushing to get through the task at hand.

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We have not used these products for very long, but I am pretty sure I am a huge fan.

Did you know that one in three women in the US have curly hair?

Did you know that only 4 in 10 little girls with curly hair think their hair is beautiful?

Dove wants all women and girls to love their curly hair. The “Love Your Curls” campaign  was created to encourage women to celebrate their curls and inspire future generations to do the same. I believe the more we celebrate how we are and people around us do the same, girls will more likely feel beautiful and be proud of their unique characteristics.

The NEW Love Your Curls book is a poetic tribute to curly hair. It is intended to represent and inspire curly-haired girls of all ages. If you would like to get a copy of the book to read to your little girl, you can download a free e-book here. You can also personalize it and create a customize dedication to your little girl. Reagan absolutely loved the book and seeing girls that had hair just like her.

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My Reagan is sassy, spirited, full of life, and so fun just like her curly hair. I pray she grows up loving her hair and being proud of how she was created.

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I was selected for this opportunity as a member of Clever Girls and the content and opinions expressed here are all my own.

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My Extra Set of Eyes

November 11, 2014 By Erica Deuel 1 Comment

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If your childhood was anything like mine, you probably grew up wondering, “How does mom always know!?” It didn’t matter how quiet or careful you were, mom somehow knew what you were up to. Now as a parent, I take great pride in performing these jaw dropping feats of foresight and knowledge. It’s important to have eyes everywhere. Even in the back of your head. Well, now with the Motorola MBP36S video baby monitor it’s a little easier to keep tabs on your little ones and you don’t even have to have super-mom powers to know how to use it.

When I was first presented the monitor, I was a little skeptical. My kids aren’t babies. They are past nap times. However, Reagan, my 3-year-old does have a one hour “rest-time” each day. She doesn’t always love being told to settle down but it’s an important time for us both to recharge. The problem is that many times she waits for me to leave the room and then she pops right up and starts playing and sometimes gets a bit mischievous. One day, I came back into the room to find her coloring on her walls as evidenced in the picture below.

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When I started reading all the features on the Motorola monitor, I realized it could be the perfect aid to Reagan’s rest time. Because let’s be honest… If you are constantly running upstairs and returning your child to their rest-time, it’s not really a restful time for either of you, is it? This sweet little piece of technology has given me an extra eye and voice into Reagan’s room. This monitor provides crystal clear two-way communication and showcases a full color LCD screen. Did you catch that? TWO-WAY Communication!! I can speak right into the monitor and gently tell Reagan to get back in bed without having to run up the stairs. Plus, you can remotely pan, tilt and zoom.

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You can even peek in at night with the infrared night vision and use the picture- in-picture feature to keep an eye on multiple rooms. With this monitor, you can be sure your baby or child is safe and sound, giving you the peace of mind you deserve.

motorola_baby_video_monitor

Here are a few of the amazing features of the Motorola MBP36S video baby monitor:

  • Wireless technology 2.4 GHz FHSS
  • 3.5” diagonal screen
  • Remote pan, tilt and zoom
  • Crystal clear two-way communication
  • Infrared night vision
  • Room temperature display
  • 5 lullabies
  • Sound level indicator
  • Volume control
  • Range up to 590 feet
  • Out-of-range alert
  • Rechargeable battery
  • Flip out stand (on parent unit)
  • Expandable up to 4 cameras (additional baby units sold separately, Model: MBP36BU)
  • View two baby units simultaneously with picture-in-picture technology

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Now that we are in Indiana, I can’t wait to unpack my video monitor and set it up in Reagan’s new room! Whether you have a new born baby, a toddler, or a house full of kiddos, I’d recommend this great device to give you one more tool in your arsenal of super-mommy tricks.

 

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I was selected for this opportunity as a member of Clever Girls and the content and opinions expressed here are all my own.

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You are a Masterpiece

March 25, 2014 By Erica Deuel 6 Comments

truths_for_kidsWhen I look at our kids, I see my little super heroes. They make it easy because they like to dress up and pretend to be caped crusaders all the time. But their playtime roles are not really what I’m talking about. I’m talking about their beauty, their strength, their innocence, their creativity, their joy, and most of all their ability to love. They inspire me all the time.

I think you know well enough to know they aren’t perfect. Neither is their mama. I lose perspective all the time. Sometimes I feel like I’m one whiny plea away from running out the front door without a thought of looking back.

I need truths to recenter my heart. I need words that break through circumstances and remind me of the bigger picture. Many times a sweet “I love you” from one of my little super heroes snaps me back. Sometimes a song lyric hits me right where I’m at. Other times I’ll find a scripture that breathes new life and perspective into my funk.

One phrase that has moved me in moments of doubt is “You are Masterpiece”. This comes from Ephesians 2:10 that says, “For we are God’s masterpiece created anew in Christ Jesus to do the good things he planned for us long ago.”

doodle printI don’t know where you are at in your life with God or if mentioning Jesus makes you uncomfortable. I understand if that’s the case. There’s a lot to be confused about when it comes to faith. But one thing I can tell you, letting the thought that God has a plan for me, he has good things for me to do, and that he calls me his masterpiece take root in my heart has been life changing. When I doubt, struggle with my shortcomings, and start to believe that I am a failure, I hear that whisper in the back of my head that tells me “You are a masterpiece”. The truth that through Jesus I can be changed and made new, I need that. The hope and belief that my life is about something bigger than me, that was planned long ago, that’s thrilling. I want in on that.

You_are_a_masterpiece_printSo, when I think about my little super heroes and all that they face and are going to face in this world, I want this thought burned into their little hearts too. No matter what happens, no matter what someone tells them or does to them, I want them to know inside and out that they are a masterpiece. I don’t want them growing up thinking they are perfect, but I do want them to believe they are special. They were made intentionally and they have been invited into a life of hope and purpose regardless of what their circumstances may be telling them in the moment.

I love to say “I have a secret for you”. They smile because they know what’s coming as I whisper “you are a masterpiece” in their ears. This is a phrase we say to each other in our house all the time.

You_are_a_masterpieceAnother passage that provides so much clarity for us comes from 1 Corinthians 13. If you’ve been to a wedding in the last 100 years you’ve probably heard this one a few times. “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”

We have these words hanging all over our house. It’s a beautiful reminder for all of us. It’s our go-to when conflict comes up with the kids.

what_is_loveWhile Caleb knows and can recite most of the passage, the other kids know “Love is patient. Love is kind.” Even our foster son that has been with us for a month has this one down. When tension rises and tempers start to flare over something, someone usually breaks out in a quick reminder “Love is patient! Love is kind!” Sometimes they say it through gritted teeth and locked jaws or with a little eye roll, but they say it and move on. Other times I step in and say “why did you ______? What is Love?” They will answer and my follow up question is always “was _______being patient/kind? (whichever applies)” It gives some reference to go and parent off of.

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Do you have a special phrase, word, or passage that helps to refocus your heart?

I don’t know about you but I need constant reminders and refocusing. That’s why I created this “You are a Masterpiece” print. Recently I’ve needed reminding. I would like to give it you too. Click here to download it. (Right click and “Save As” on some computers) Feel free to print it out, frame it, hang it up, or pass it along to someone who needs some encouragement. Just do me a favor, let it sink in. Know that you are special. Your life matters. You were created with a purpose and there’s a God who loves you enough to give you the title of masterpiece.

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