As a solider you are trained, given lots of wisdom and time to grow and practice what you have learned way before going into battle. Being a foster care parent is very similar.
We have done this before and have now been trained and certified TWICE. I bet if you ask a solider (I’m sure this is true as well), you learn so much once you hit the battle field. That experience trumps all the preparation done to get to the field.
If I could explain what our family has been going through these last six weeks, I would say it is heavily relearning things we learned the first time around.
There are many highs and lows.
I am relearning the need for community.
I can’t do this on my own.
I need Jesus.
I have darker moments than I want to admit.
We can be somewhat healthy and the moment you add trauma to your family – it’s like a bomb goes off and everyone is effected.
I often need to be in bed by 9:00pm (even if that’s watching a baby monitor)
Although it is again one of the hardest things I have had to do, these are lessons I never want to tire of learning. I want so badly to teach my kids patience. This includes my foster son. We need to show love by being patient with our words and actions. We say that often, as you may remember from reading this parenting tip post of ours. I need to remember that it is needed for me to be patient with myself.
We are all still adjusting. Life is different with a new one in the house. We are all learning a new rhythm. The new normal is that there is no normal. That’s a hard concept for one to take in. Especially someone with my personality who thrives on rhythm and steadiness. I have cried. I have wanted to be done. I have questioned if I can do this. I have had to rethink the clarity I felt when I said yes. Did I dream that peace? No, no I didn’t. But, there has been enough tired moments that have left me in all kinds of dark places emotionally.
Although the two long term placements we have had in our home, both boys, different ages, come from different parents and live states away, there is a certain normalcy with adding kids from trauma into your home. I knew this, but I have not been patient to allow my body to catch up to what my heart and head know to be true. I read this post, and it struck me with how accurate her explanation of what I am living is to be true.
Love is patient. I will be patient with allowing myself to be a never ending piece of clay that needs molding. I can admit I don’t have it all together. I need Jesus. I need his grasp on the bigger picture in all the hard moments. I need him to speak truth to me, through me, and around me. I can’t do this, but I know the one who can. I call him my Savior. He has not forgotten us. He will sustain, and we will be his hands and feet to the hurting in our home. It is the mission field we prayed it would be.
I say all this not for you to have pity on me. Seriously. I say this to encourage you. The truths we say to our kids are true for us as well. Love is patient. I will give myself grace to adjust and patience as we figure out our new life. If you too are a foster mama or just a mama in general, don’t forget we are learning everyday. Our homes can be seen as our battle ground. There will be good days with lots of signs of progress and there will be days that are so dark you cry into your pillow. The evil one does not want us to shine love and grace and teach forgiveness. We will get discouraged and feel defeated, but I am relearning we just need to press further in…cry out to Jesus…and have patience in seeing signs of hope.
**This hoop is for sale in the shop here, if you are interested. Thank you so much!**